Canadian Maple Syrup
by Nika565
Summary: There has been a theft in Canada, someone dared to steal his maple syrup... And that someone shall pay once the Canadian finds out who did it. Never mess with the Canadians syrup! Really random story, not to be taken seriously!
1. Chapter 1

It was a quiet morning in the UN building, where all the nations had an office to work in, going through all the paperwork their bosses gave them to look through and sign.

England was online, looking at various news headlines on the National Public Radio website. Currently, he was looking in the section of world news, and he was about to click the link to the European section, when one on the front page caught his eye. His eyes widened in slight shock, and he clicked the article. Reading through it, his massive eyebrows went up in shock. Whoever did this was going to pay hell.

The article was, Thieves Hit Warehouse Holding $30 Million of Canadian Maple Syrup.

Yes, Canadian maple syrup.

He knew his ex-colony wasn't going to like that, he loved that stuff. England briefly pondered who would be stupid enough to do such a thing and waved the thought away. No country, knowing that the Canadian got passionate about the things he liked, would steal it like that. It would be suicide. Or maybe a mysterious natural death…

Syrup was like a national symbol to Canada, as he produced at least three-quarters of the world's supply. It was on his flag for crying out loud!

He sighed and turned off his computer wondering when the personification of Canada would find out this news.

Just then, England heard a loud shout of combined anger and surprise came from across the hall, where the North American countries worked. He was willing to bet his whole countries supply of tea that that was none other than the Canadian.

.:oOo:.

Canada raged, rather loudly, in his office at the UN building. Who? Who would do such a thing?

He could feel his body tense up in anger, the blood running through his veins.

"Someone is going to pay," he muttered darkly to himself, pushing the now broken desk out of his way as he made his way to the main meeting hall, intending to make this top priority until the culprits were caught.

Little did he know that three nations shook in fear in the nearest closet, regretting their choice to get drunk last night.

.:oOo:.

Germany was taking roll, when the door was slammed open, a very angry nation standing in the doorway.

"America! What is the meaning of this behavior?" Germany shouted and went to make a check by America, but was confused to see that there was already one.

Germany looked back up and cringed slightly at the glare that 'America' was giving him.

"DUDE. Germany, I'm right here," America said, raising an eyebrow and taking a sip of his carbonated drink.

Germany looked back at the other country and furrowed his eyebrows.

"For the last time, I. Am. Canada!" He shouted with much venom in his voice.

"Canada…? Oh, right…" Germany said taking a step back as the blonde nation advanced towards him.

"Now…" Canada said from the point where Germany usually stood, at the head of the table, "There has been a theft in my country today." He looked around the table filled with countries, most looking at him confusedly, wondering what brought on the sudden anger from the normally silent country.

"Do you know what they stole?" Canada asked, rhetorically, of course. "Maple syrup. And a lot of it."

This just confused them even more. Someone stole syrup? _Why?_

"And I want to know who did it," the Canadian said, looking into the faces of the countries of the world.

He noticed a certain trio looking everywhere but the Canadian and looking very, very uncomfortable. He watched them each for a few seconds, and then slowly walked closer the nearest one.

"So… Spain. What exactly were you doing last night?" he asked in a low whisper near the Spaniards ear.

Spain gulped, sweat dripping down his face. He stared at the table, not looking at the obviously angry blonde behind him.

"Cazzo! The bastard went out drinking last night," Romano said from the other side of the table, nonchalantly eating a tomato.

Canada glanced at Romano, and nodded, a cold smile gracing his lips. "Thank you Romano."

Romano just shrugged, "Nessun problema." He was used to such behavior, as he often worked with the mafia.

Canada returned his attention to Spain, "What _were _you doing? Were you alone last night?"

"… No."

"With who? Wait, don't answer that, obviously Prussia and France," he glanced at the duo and his assumptions was proven correct when they both flinched, he smiled darkly again.

"Well then, care to explain what you three were doing?"

"Well we went to the bar-"

"But it wasn't our-!"

"And then there was a hooker-"

"Yeah! … Wait, what?"

"And then we somehow found ourselves at that one-"

"But then we all somehow-"

The three kept talking over in an attempt to explain their previous actions.

Canada twitched at the noise level, honestly! "Shut up you three! And start at the beginning."

**.:oOo:. **

Ummm, yeah. I did run across an actual article about that. And then I ended up writing this, haha.

This is really random and not meant to be taken seriously. Hell, it's kinda crappy to be honest.

If I feel like it, I'll write about what the Bad Touch did the night before [I highly doubt that they are the real culprits in real life, lql].

If you want to see, just type in Canadian maple syrup stolen, lots of websites have an article about it, I just happened to find it on NPR first. [CBC, BBC, NBC CNN, NYT]


	2. Chapter 2

"_Well we went to the bar-"_

"_But it wasn't our-!"_

"_And then there was a hooker-"_

"_Yeah! … Wait, what?"_

"_And then we somehow found ourselves at that one-"_

"_But then we all somehow-"_

_The three kept talking over in an attempt to explain their previous actions._

_Canada twitched at the noise level, honestly! "Shut up you three! And start at the beginning."_

The three gulped and France started talking.

.:oOo:.

_The night before:_

France had called up his two best friends and they had decided to go bar hopping. They also decided on a theme this time_, a beer in every country_! Themes always made things fun. At the moment, they were just finishing up Europe, ending in the west in Portugal. Then they went through a secret nation door that they all used to go quickly from one country to another, and found themselves in the Canadian province of Quebec.

They pushed each other around like kids walking to the nearest bar, which happened to be near the maple syrup storage place. They giggled and went into the bar and ordered a few rounds before Prussia spoke up.

"The Awesome Me suggests that we go and take some maple syrup! That shit is the best," he slurred drunkenly.

"That sounds like a good idea!" Spain said as he spun in circles mumbling something about circles and the Earth, a catchy tune he had learned from Italy and had adjusted to match his personality.

France frowned and wondered why alarm bells were going off in his head. Something didn't seem right about this idea or something… But he was quickly distracted by the thought of his petit Canada's delicious pancakes. Pancakes… If he brought his Canadian syrup, he had to make him pancakes!

… Or so his drunken logic was telling him.

The three scurried over to the storage space and easily picked any locks they came across. They were briefly stumped on how much syrup to take, and how they would do so. They somehow got many tubs through their nation door and were siphoning out the syrup and returning the syrup to Prussia's basement, since no one but them dared to enter there ever since Germany had compared the place to a nuclear war zone [Another drunken adventure].

By the time the sun started coming up; the three were very tired and had decided to crash in Prussia's room for the night (morning?).

The three only slept for an hour or so before Germany pounded on the door, telling them that they had to get ready for the World meeting, which would be at 12.

Prussia groaned and rubbed his pounding temples, his tongue feeling very think in his dry mouth. He kicked Spain off the end of the bed and shouted at them to wake up.

He got up and stumbled his way to the bathroom, half awake, only to run into a large container. "Mother fucker!" Prussia screamed as he fell down, hitting his head on the edge of a table. He grumbled as he stood back up and looking at the container filled with… something. His brow furrowed as he looked at the brown liquid wondering what the hell it was. Curiosity got the best of him as he dipped a finger in the substance and licked it, quickly realizing it was maple syrup. Canadian maple syrup to be exact, the countries favored brand when he made his fluffy pancakes.

Prussia kneeled by the container and wondered why he had a container, no; scratch that, more than one container of the maple syrup. He counted at least 20 containers filled to the brim with the syrup scattered about his basement.

"Hey guys, what exactly did we do last night?" Prussia asked.

"I am not too sure, Gilbert. But I don't think it was good," France said, looking at the containers.

"Is this little Canada's syrup?" Spain asked as he dipped his hand in one.

"Oui, I believe so…" France said.

"Shit!" Prussia exclaimed. The Canadian was normally very calm, but when he was angered... He would definitely be angered by the fact that a whole lot of _his_ syrup was stolen.

They would have to apologize quickly if they wanted to be shown even a sliver of mercy.

.:oOo:.

The three waited outside Canada's room at the UN building, waiting until he came out and get down on their knees and beg for forgiveness. But their plan quickly changed when they heard the Canadian start raging in his office. They heard something slam and then it breaking as the blond cursed his head off in English and French. When they heard that he was exiting his office, they quickly ran to a closet and waited there a good five minutes after the Canadian passed.

That didn't go as planned…

They entered as discreetly as they could to the meeting room and took their seats, just in time for the show; as Canada slammed the door open. The Bad Touch looked at each other, fear clearly seen in their eyes.

Canada was briefly distracted by arguing with Germany, but the quickly zeroing in on the trio.

He smiled darkly and got their attention. So, his Père and his foolish friends had dared steal from his syrup factories. They were going to pay. He chuckled darkly and advanced towards the quivering trio.

.:oOo:.

Lol, yeah… I had a day off from school (it was cancelled due to severe wind storm~) and decided to type this out.

If you have any ideas for revenge, do suggest. I'll maybe type out Canada's revenge this weekend and that will be the end of this story.

If you like the idea of countries getting revenge on other countries, I have another fic called _Germany's Plan to Take Down the World_. Germany is taking revenge on all who pulled a joke on him.

Thank you for the reviews from **Harvest Dragon**, **AelanRyland011** and **fionlao**. As well as the favs!

See ya~


	3. Chapter 3

_He smiled darkly and got their attention. So, his Père and his foolish friends had dared steal from his syrup factories. They were going to pay. He chuckled darkly and advanced towards the quivering trio._

Canada had gone a bit off his rocker, or so someone with a _sane _mind would think if they viewed the scene. Presently, it was Russia, England, Romano, Hungary, Austria and America watching. Seeing as the meeting was somewhat cancelled, Germany packing up soon after Canada had started his revenge on the trio, a sure sign that he wasn't going to even begin to try and settle them down, everyone had taken it as a sign that they were free to do as they chose.

Hell hath no fury like a raging Canadian.

The few that did stay, of course, had their reasons.

Russia because he loved it whenever a nation was uncomfortable, especially Prussia, since he still held many grudges against the former kingdom.

England because he loved to either watch someone beat up France or do so himself.

Romano was there to watch the Spaniards ass get beaten.

And Hungary and Austria were, of course, there to watch the Prussian get humiliated.

America was nearly on the verge of tears as he watched his normally passive aggressive bro finally take the initiative and stand up for himself. Albeit in a bit over the top, humorous way.

First, he had grabbed some chairs, slung the trio into one each, and got rope, from only the maple gods know where, and tightly secured them in the chairs.

Then, he started with France.

He did a number of... things to him. The most traumatizing for him probably being when he drizzled syrup on him, then sicking Kumajiro on him. Kuma is not one of the most gentle of bears, and the brand of syrup that they took, was one of the polar bears favorites. The end result being that he had many claw marks and polar bear fur and saliva all over his face. Not pleasant. On England's encouragement, he took the Frenchman and roped him so that he was hanging upside down from the ceiling.

Currently, England and Kumajiro were playing a perverse game, batting the Frenchman back and forth between them, pushing him in circles.

Next, naturally, was Spain. He was a bit more creative in his revenge, thanks to Romano also giving cruel and unusual ideas to the Canadian. The end result was the Spaniard spread out across the table and a giant tortoise laying on his chest with other turtles of various size and weight on the rest of his body. Romano was tickling his nose with a feather, taunting him and daring him to not sneeze, or else he would cause all the animals on his to fall. He shouted things as loud as he could, presumably pleading mercy, but who knew?

Hungary and Austria of course helped with the Prussian as England and Romano had helped with France and Spain respectively. Hungary had the Prussian pinned in a head lock. Canada paused briefly, wondering why everyone was joining in on his revenge, but than shrugged it off. As long as they were properly punished for stealing the syrup. He smirked as Austria did something very un-Austria like to the Prussian. Who knew the aristocratic man had it in him?

He decided that the rest would take care of the trio, and decided to go and retrieve the syrup that wasn't ruined by them somehow. It was a nice feeling to be recognized and somewhat feared. But most of all remembered. He called Kuma over and they left, wondering how long they would be at the others mercy.

**A/N**: I am sorry XP It took forever to update this, and it is probably unsatisfactory! I was at a loss at what to do to them, then this story slipped my mind. School keeps me pretty busy. I wasn't sure what to do to Prussia, so I sicked Hungary and Austria on him, I'm sure they have much pent up anger and annoyance to attack him with. And that alone should be enough for him, haha.

See ya' around then :)


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